SOCIAL SUCCESS By Teri Allen, OTR Most adults recognize that social skills are critical to success and happiness throughout life. We need to effectively work with others, resolve conflicts, communicate, and make and sustain relationships. Friendship is not a structured curriculum taught along with reading and math. Children usually learn the subtle nuances of social interaction through trial, error, and experience. There can be a variety of reasons a child struggles in peer relationships, all requiring different solutions. If your child does not seem to enjoy play with other children, is often isolated, excessively teased, or struggles to make friends, it would be helpful to take a closer look. Problems that you can readily identify may include: Delays in language development Compulsivity or attention difficulties Academic struggles (studies have shown that Learning Disabled children generally have a low social status in the (classroom). Environmental stress There are other children who just seem "out of step" in their social interactions and do not spontaneously learn from experience. This group of children may need special attention and instruction in order to succeed in the social arena. One or more of the following behaviors may be observed in these children. Avoids or does not sustain eye contact Lacks empathy/cannot see world from others point of view/is self absorbed Content of conversation seems abnormal, focused on an area of particular interest, or one sided Does not seem to understand simple social rules Not readily influenced by peer pressure, such as choice in clothing or activities Does not accurately "read" nonverbal communication Struggles with turn taking Literal interpretation of what others say Misinterprets sarcasm or jokes Inappropriate actions or comments Seems eccentric or naive Is upset or disorganized by change Does not respect others personal space Timing of social interactions seems "off" If your child exhibits some of these behaviors, tutoring in friendship and social interactions is probably needed. It is important you understand that your child may have difficulty learning social "rules" just like some children have trouble reading, or spelling. Your child can make considerable gains with your assistance and patience. Below are suggestions to help you get started. Enlist the help of adults regularly involved in your child's life, such as grandparents and teachers. Be concrete and specific when explaining social rules to your child. Assist your child in modeling appropriate behavior or role play. Play informal games that require your child to interpret non verbal communication. Check with your child's teacher to see if there are any programs available in your school. Look for programs in your community designed to assist the child who struggles with peer relationships "The only way to have a friend is to be one." Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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