SOCIAL SUCCESS
                                                                                                                 By Teri Allen, OTR

Most adults recognize that social skills are critical to success and happiness throughout life.  We need to effectively work with
others, resolve conflicts, communicate, and make and sustain relationships.  Friendship is not a structured curriculum taught
along with reading and math. Children usually learn the subtle nuances of social interaction through trial, error, and
experience.  

There can be a variety of reasons a child struggles in peer relationships, all requiring different solutions.  If your child does not
seem to enjoy play with other children, is often isolated, excessively teased, or struggles to make friends, it would be helpful
to take a closer look.  Problems that you can readily identify  may include:

Delays in language development
Compulsivity or attention difficulties
Academic struggles (studies have shown that Learning Disabled children generally have a low social
status in the (classroom).
Environmental stress

There are other children who just seem "out of step" in their social interactions and do not spontaneously  learn from
experience.  This group of children may need special attention and instruction in order to succeed in the social arena.  One or
more of the following behaviors may be observed in these children.

                                            Avoids or does not sustain eye contact
                                            Lacks empathy/cannot see world from others point of view/is self absorbed
                                            Content of conversation seems abnormal, focused on an area of particular interest, or one sided
                                            Does not seem to understand simple social rules
                                            Not readily influenced by peer pressure, such as choice in clothing or activities
                                            Does not accurately "read" nonverbal communication
                                            Struggles with turn taking
                                            Literal interpretation of what others say
                                            Misinterprets sarcasm or jokes
                                            Inappropriate actions or comments
                                            Seems eccentric or naive
                                            Is upset or disorganized by change
                                            Does not respect others personal space
                                            Timing of social interactions seems "off"

If your child exhibits some of these behaviors, tutoring in friendship and social interactions is probably  needed. It is important
you understand that your child may have difficulty learning social "rules" just like some children have trouble reading, or
spelling.  Your child can make considerable gains with your assistance and patience.  Below are suggestions to help you get
started.

Enlist the help of adults regularly involved in your child's life, such as grandparents and teachers.
Be concrete and specific when explaining social rules to your child.
Assist your child in modeling appropriate behavior or role play.
Play informal games that require your child to interpret non verbal communication.
Check with your child's teacher to see if there are any programs available in your school.   
Look for programs in your community designed to assist the child who struggles with peer relationships

"The only way to have a friend  is to be one."
                                   Ralph Waldo Emerson
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